很开心的一个周末，
虽然之前我们都很不愉快。
有女友的陪伴，
吃到好吃的鱼生，牛排，砂劳越面。
亲爱的，谢谢你。
Friday, 28 June 2013
Part 24 ～ 心里很不安
一直以来，有事无事的，
你都会与我分享你生活上的点点滴滴，
身边的每一个人，每一件事，每一个心情，
你都会与我分享！
可是昨天，我老是觉得你怪怪的，
你不能上网与我联线，
我不能怪你！
可是为什么你就是什么都没告诉我呢？
还要我一句一句地去问你！
答案才一项一项地揭晓。
以往，你与哪个朋友出去玩，
我都可以从 FB 上看到，
可是，这次就是什么都没有，
感觉上好像你不想给我知道什么的。。。
我就是不喜欢这种感觉！
哪种另我觉得很不安的感觉！！
Part 22 ~ 34 岁的生日
我终于相信雨后彩虹，
今年的生日真的很温馨很开心，
也觉得自己很幸福。
这几年都是一个人在外工作，
除了那些短讯或留言之外，
都是一个人平平淡淡的过着每一个生日，
如常的上班，如常的被工作压着，
没有生日礼物，没有生日蛋糕；
我想也快要忘记生日的感觉了！
今年我不止有妈妈的陪伴，
还有你的到来，
以及为我所准备的一切，
谢谢你！
礼物或蛋糕都不重要，
有你的陪伴，
我已心满意足了！！！
Part 21 ~ My Love Story Continue
This is my 3rd Casio wrist watch collection..
Each of it having its love story with different "he".
It is same apply to this beautiful watch.
Dear, I hope u will be the last man who gifted me Casio watch.
Dear, I also wish that u will be the only man who keep giving me Casio watches as we continue our love stories.
Each of it having its love story with different "he".
It is same apply to this beautiful watch.
Dear, I hope u will be the last man who gifted me Casio watch.
Dear, I also wish that u will be the only man who keep giving me Casio watches as we continue our love stories.
Thursday, 27 June 2013
他说：11 Jan 2013
11 Jan 2013 - 公司取消加班。
立刻通知你，
你买了车票南下古来。
很开心和你渡过开心的周末。
心血来潮，要买榴莲蛋糕吃，
顺便为你庆祝生日。
祝你生日快乐，天天开心。我爱你。
立刻通知你，
你买了车票南下古来。
很开心和你渡过开心的周末。
心血来潮，要买榴莲蛋糕吃，
顺便为你庆祝生日。
祝你生日快乐，天天开心。我爱你。
Part 20 - Broken Heart
It's passed 12 days after we last met during your birthday celebration.
Distant relationship is no joke!
Especially when both loving each other so hard...
Every meet up, I am never expecting anything from you.
Just a meet up,
Just some precious time to spend together for us.
No activities, no programmes, no plans,
that is not a matter.
All I wish just a meet up.
This trip ~ you brought me a hurtful message.
Your mama wanted you to get another girl friend.
From the day I was with you at Kulai,
I sensed it,
I felt it too.
I know this day will come .
Distant relationship is no joke!
Especially when both loving each other so hard...
Every meet up, I am never expecting anything from you.
Just a meet up,
Just some precious time to spend together for us.
No activities, no programmes, no plans,
that is not a matter.
All I wish just a meet up.
This trip ~ you brought me a hurtful message.
Your mama wanted you to get another girl friend.
From the day I was with you at Kulai,
I sensed it,
I felt it too.
I know this day will come .
Part 19 - Hurtful Trip
I'm been looking forward for this December Southern Trip since months ago.
Because I can meet you after long gap of 45 days.
Because I can have precious time with you.
Because I can have some time for you with my mama.
Because I can bring mama to hang around some new places.
But...
Everything was not as great & smooth as what I thought.
Everything just turned into a mess.
Everything just bother me so badly.
Everything just upet me and it was hurt.
I can't do anything....
I only can keep everything to myself.
I only can cry silently inside my heart.
I know you felt it.
I know you noticed it.
I know you feel bad too.
Because I can meet you after long gap of 45 days.
Because I can have precious time with you.
Because I can have some time for you with my mama.
Because I can bring mama to hang around some new places.
But...
Everything was not as great & smooth as what I thought.
Everything just turned into a mess.
Everything just bother me so badly.
Everything just upet me and it was hurt.
I can't do anything....
I only can keep everything to myself.
I only can cry silently inside my heart.
I know you felt it.
I know you noticed it.
I know you feel bad too.
Part 18 - 八个小时
11月30号 ～ 星期五，
前几天因为知道自己将要与俩老相见，
真的很紧张！
上几次的见面都有你在场，这次不一样了，
因为我要自己一个人去面对了，
我说不紧张都是骗人的！
亲爱的，
我不是要埋怨或投诉你什么的，那是我自愿要陪他们的，
我也是希望。。。
大家可以趁着这个机会让大家了解彼此。
八个小时，说长不长，说短不短；
带他们去 PJ 吃小吃，在 MV 诳街血拼。
整个过程，
希望他们真的可以开开心心地度过！
Part 17 - Had Passed 3 Months
August 8, 2012
A date
which had changed her status from single to attached.
A date
which had reminded her that she has a Little Man
who willing to love her, miss her, take care of her and protect her.
A date
which had proven her that there is true love between Man and Woman.
A date
which had told her that distant relationship is not an issue to her anymore.
A date
which had shown her that she is deserved for better life.
A date
which had awakening her that she can have her own family in future....
An important date ~ August 8, 2012
Part 16 - Useless BF?
"Dear, when you need me, and I am not with you. I am useless BF!"
Please don't ever say this again! I know you will not be able to be with me all the time, especially when I in trouble or when I need someone's helping hand.
From day 1 I accepted you for the distant relationship, I know I won't be able have my BF with me always. I know my BF won't be the first one to rescue me when I need him. I know my BF won't be able to do anything to ease me from anything.
But I still have friends... I am having helpful friends around. They are always there with me. Our friendship are not fake bullshit. I still can manage myself with their assistances.
Dear, I am alright here. Through it happened far away from you, but I will always let you be the first one to know everything about me, neither good or bad stuffs. And I do keep updating you for the outcome too.
No worries dear. I can be myself here.
Please don't ever says you are USELESS again! Else I won't layan u anymore!
Please don't ever say this again! I know you will not be able to be with me all the time, especially when I in trouble or when I need someone's helping hand.
From day 1 I accepted you for the distant relationship, I know I won't be able have my BF with me always. I know my BF won't be the first one to rescue me when I need him. I know my BF won't be able to do anything to ease me from anything.
But I still have friends... I am having helpful friends around. They are always there with me. Our friendship are not fake bullshit. I still can manage myself with their assistances.
Dear, I am alright here. Through it happened far away from you, but I will always let you be the first one to know everything about me, neither good or bad stuffs. And I do keep updating you for the outcome too.
No worries dear. I can be myself here.
Please don't ever says you are USELESS again! Else I won't layan u anymore!
Part 15 - Am I Old?
I was born in January 1979, and you were born in Dec 1979. I'm older than you for 11 months neh!
People used to say, age is not a matter in any relationship. Don't you agree? Man of course not mind to have younger wife, but how about woman? Do they really don't mind to have young husband too?
Emmmm..... I don't think so. Sometimes I am quite particular about my look. Staring at our couple pictures, I always ask myself, "am I looked old when standing next to you?"
Although I used to have some compliments saying that I looked like mid 20-ish or late 20-ish, but I'm still worry.
Woman well known to get old faster than man, especially after give birth to baby. And I no longer your young, sweet, cute and pretty sayamg ler...
But I don't care, I know you will always here for me! ^0^
People used to say, age is not a matter in any relationship. Don't you agree? Man of course not mind to have younger wife, but how about woman? Do they really don't mind to have young husband too?
Emmmm..... I don't think so. Sometimes I am quite particular about my look. Staring at our couple pictures, I always ask myself, "am I looked old when standing next to you?"
Although I used to have some compliments saying that I looked like mid 20-ish or late 20-ish, but I'm still worry.
Woman well known to get old faster than man, especially after give birth to baby. And I no longer your young, sweet, cute and pretty sayamg ler...
But I don't care, I know you will always here for me! ^0^
他说：她的母亲
有点紧张。
她说过，她会带着她母亲。
不管到哪里都一样。
希望我可以接受。
拍拖也带着妈妈。
让我觉得很好笑。
左手牵我的手，右手牵着妈妈的手。
一开始很担心她妈妈不接受我。
我不太懂得讨好长辈。
不会说好话。
更是一个平凡的打工仔。
真不懂她母亲会不会反对我们在一起。
但她母亲就像她那么友善，那么热情。
应该是说她像她妈妈。
她让我很清楚的看到。
妈妈是她的一切。
我想说，我会好好对待你母亲。
我也知道你也会好好待我家人。
孝顺的孩子，心低都不坏。
Part 14 - Family & Friends
Relationship is not about you and me. It involved our families, and our friends. We are still baba mama child. We need them same as they need us too. Building our own family doesn't mean to leave them aside. But rather get our family to grow bigger, merrier and happier.
We are not the perfect person. But I do believed our imperfection is just right to complete each other in order for us to go further.
I will try my best to be with each other through good times or bad. We used to say, relationship is all about meeting the right person to be your life partner. But I have another concept that relationship is to create a sparks between two different individuals to live together.
Although we are far apart and wouldn't be managed to meet each other as frequent as we wish. As I understand, relationship is not count by miles but by how much love we have in each other to stay and build the relationship.
The day will come. Stay tuned dear.... Nothing will stop us from moving further, as we are truly wanted to be together.
God will always bless us for a brighter tomorrow.
We are not the perfect person. But I do believed our imperfection is just right to complete each other in order for us to go further.
I will try my best to be with each other through good times or bad. We used to say, relationship is all about meeting the right person to be your life partner. But I have another concept that relationship is to create a sparks between two different individuals to live together.
Although we are far apart and wouldn't be managed to meet each other as frequent as we wish. As I understand, relationship is not count by miles but by how much love we have in each other to stay and build the relationship.
The day will come. Stay tuned dear.... Nothing will stop us from moving further, as we are truly wanted to be together.
God will always bless us for a brighter tomorrow.
Part 13 - Things got tighten up
New job no longer new any more. Honeymoon of the job has came to the end though. I am getting more busy and tighten up with the busy and heavy tasks on my daily basis. Burdens and responsibilities are getting heavier on my shoulders.
It has added more challenge against our relationship. Besides distant, busy working schedule. Holding double tasks is not a joke. Stress mentally, exhausted physically, lack of quality rest at night is the worst.
I am getting less motivation for everything. I am getting less personal time for workout. I am getting less energy for moving further. It sounds serious to me.
And boss had promised, it will be coming to the end after two months. I really hope that night duty tasks will be reconsidered for our sake of goodness.
It made me hard to arrange time for our meet up. I won't be shaking bumps at home at every weekend like others. I need to be on duty for every weekends and public holidays.
Fortunately, you're understanding and caring. I still can feel your love, your care, your concerns and your worries through the air. I had promised myself, won't get myself down. I will stay strong and tough, I will take care of myself.... because
It has added more challenge against our relationship. Besides distant, busy working schedule. Holding double tasks is not a joke. Stress mentally, exhausted physically, lack of quality rest at night is the worst.
I am getting less motivation for everything. I am getting less personal time for workout. I am getting less energy for moving further. It sounds serious to me.
And boss had promised, it will be coming to the end after two months. I really hope that night duty tasks will be reconsidered for our sake of goodness.
It made me hard to arrange time for our meet up. I won't be shaking bumps at home at every weekend like others. I need to be on duty for every weekends and public holidays.
Fortunately, you're understanding and caring. I still can feel your love, your care, your concerns and your worries through the air. I had promised myself, won't get myself down. I will stay strong and tough, I will take care of myself.... because
Part 12 – Sister gets Married
My only sister had got herself married last weekend. She is just our little girl in the family and now, she is Mrs Ng, role had been changed to a wife, and daughter-in-law. In no time from now, I believed she will be a mother pretty soon. I am happy for her. Mama will be lonely at home.
We both daughters are no longer staying beside her. This day had come finally. I know mama been trying her best to be more independent. She is trying her best to visit hospital regularly on her own by public transports. She is also trying her best to get used to the loneliness at home (although baba is at home too). I am the elder daughter; of course I should bear the responsibility to take care of parents. Especially mama, I know she will be following me wherever I go, even out of Ipoh, either KL or Johor (one day).
Thanks dear for willing to accept and invite mama into your live. Thanks dear for willing to explain all this to your parents and to wish them to support your decision. I know the more she’s staying under same roof with my baba (without us beside her), the more suffer and torture she will has. I can’t comment baba as not responsible. Anyhow also he did the main financial support the grow us. I can’t blame baba for not caring us or loving us. I also can’t blame him for being selfish, as he was grown as such due to problematic family and parent issue. He is selfish, because he has no one to teach him and show him what LOVE is for the family. I accept what he is; because he is my baba.
他说：很心疼
知道你工作辛苦，我很心疼。
我更担心你的手。
都怪自己不是什么有钱人，
要不然一定把你娶过来，
随便找份简单的工作。
坦白说，现在我的经济状况，
还可以。
以后有了小朋友需要更努力赚钱。
还有照顾你和你妈妈。
你时常说你要你的事业，
我更担心，你的薪水问题。
以后过来可能没那么高的薪水。
我知道你不介意。
但想想，我很自私。
你说想要自己的屋子。
搬过来，更不可能买屋。
再来，
一忙起来，连去见你的时间都没有。
我更担心你的手。
都怪自己不是什么有钱人，
要不然一定把你娶过来，
随便找份简单的工作。
坦白说，现在我的经济状况，
还可以。
以后有了小朋友需要更努力赚钱。
还有照顾你和你妈妈。
你时常说你要你的事业，
我更担心，你的薪水问题。
以后过来可能没那么高的薪水。
我知道你不介意。
但想想，我很自私。
你说想要自己的屋子。
搬过来，更不可能买屋。
再来，
一忙起来，连去见你的时间都没有。
Part 11 – Happy Paktoh-ing
We’d been dated for two month since August 8, 2012. Within these two months, we had dated and met up for 8 times over the weekends. I know you might be busy for the coming months with your work and up coming study schedules. I know you are trying your very best to meet up as frequent as we can to eliminate the worries of sustaining long distant relationship. I know you wanted to prove that we are still able to date as any other couples. Thanks dear for all your effort. I know you are tired too for the frequent travelling to KL.
Staring at the passed meet up schedule we had, I feel bad and guilty for not able to visit you at Kulai. Besides saying sorry, I really have no any other idea on what shall I do to ease my guiltiness.
The only thing I can do for you is ~ enjoy and cherish every moment we had, ensure we are happy for every minute or even every second as my appreciation to your effort. I want every dating of us to be a memorable moments to recall in future. I want you to be happy and I want to see smiles are always hanging at your face. I want to capture every smile on your face.
Dear, Happy Two Month Paktoh Day.
Staring at the passed meet up schedule we had, I feel bad and guilty for not able to visit you at Kulai. Besides saying sorry, I really have no any other idea on what shall I do to ease my guiltiness.
The only thing I can do for you is ~ enjoy and cherish every moment we had, ensure we are happy for every minute or even every second as my appreciation to your effort. I want every dating of us to be a memorable moments to recall in future. I want you to be happy and I want to see smiles are always hanging at your face. I want to capture every smile on your face.
Dear, Happy Two Month Paktoh Day.
Part 10 – You’d made it
Friday night (28/09/2012), and you’d made it. You reached and stopped at my condo with your exhausted look. Dear, whenever you are here in PJ. I really don’t mind to spend all my time with you. As long you’re willing to come, I willing to reject all my invitation for any appointment or any outing; because it was all your effort. I must do my best to be your companion, and to be your driver too.
Dear, I am your girl friend; please don’t feel pai sei when you call me to fetch you at bus terminal at any hour. Please give me a chance to show my love to you. Please give me a chance to show you that I am willing and volunteer to do anything (which is within my capability) for you. But sometimes, I do feel bad or guilty that I need to be standby for night calls. We can’t really enjoy our dates especially at night. During my night duty, I’m not sure if those calls interrupt your sleep. I do feel bad to cause you tired and lethargy because of my work.
Dear, did you ever imagine that what will happen if we meet earlier? Did you ever think that if we start meet earlier and date earlier?
Hmmmm…. I don’t think will have the same turn up. I am sure that we will behave different without our past experiences; and I can foresee that we won’t love each other that much.
God had designed and planned such ways for us for the past few years. Those experiences had tougher us and trained us in such way to love each other in a better way. I was fucking hate my ex-husband who was betrayed me, hurt me and spoilt me for the past few years. After I had a thorough counselling by Kevin, I should thank him for making a current ME. He made me to see the world with shaper eyes, he made me to appreciate our loved one with deepest heart.
Dear, don’t you agree that?
Dear, I am your girl friend; please don’t feel pai sei when you call me to fetch you at bus terminal at any hour. Please give me a chance to show my love to you. Please give me a chance to show you that I am willing and volunteer to do anything (which is within my capability) for you. But sometimes, I do feel bad or guilty that I need to be standby for night calls. We can’t really enjoy our dates especially at night. During my night duty, I’m not sure if those calls interrupt your sleep. I do feel bad to cause you tired and lethargy because of my work.
Dear, did you ever imagine that what will happen if we meet earlier? Did you ever think that if we start meet earlier and date earlier?
Hmmmm…. I don’t think will have the same turn up. I am sure that we will behave different without our past experiences; and I can foresee that we won’t love each other that much.
God had designed and planned such ways for us for the past few years. Those experiences had tougher us and trained us in such way to love each other in a better way. I was fucking hate my ex-husband who was betrayed me, hurt me and spoilt me for the past few years. After I had a thorough counselling by Kevin, I should thank him for making a current ME. He made me to see the world with shaper eyes, he made me to appreciate our loved one with deepest heart.
Dear, don’t you agree that?
Part 9 – An uneasy 36 hours
I hate this day, while we were happily chatting as usual, you prompt me with a question, "This weekend, you free or not?", I replied YES. It followed with a surprised answer that you are coming to KL this weekend after work on Friday. And you drive!
You told me before, if nothing urgent; else you won’t simply drive to KL alone. You told me, beside meeting with me, you also wanted to get some confirmed answers from me. I was pleasing you to ask me through whatsapp, but you rejected me. You wanted to ask me in person and wanted to observe my expression while answering your so called usual questions.
I keep throwing thousands and thousands WHY to you on the above matter. But you’re so difficult for me to dig any info from you. From yesterday (27/9/12) afternoon 13.30, the minute you told me that you’re coming today after work, I’m been waiting for the questions till you reach PJ. Waiting is killing, but I willing to be killed by you, as I know it is worth for waiting, because of you and our relationship.
You told me before, if nothing urgent; else you won’t simply drive to KL alone. You told me, beside meeting with me, you also wanted to get some confirmed answers from me. I was pleasing you to ask me through whatsapp, but you rejected me. You wanted to ask me in person and wanted to observe my expression while answering your so called usual questions.
I keep throwing thousands and thousands WHY to you on the above matter. But you’re so difficult for me to dig any info from you. From yesterday (27/9/12) afternoon 13.30, the minute you told me that you’re coming today after work, I’m been waiting for the questions till you reach PJ. Waiting is killing, but I willing to be killed by you, as I know it is worth for waiting, because of you and our relationship.
他说 ： 她 - 我的女友
很喜欢她的微笑（开怀大笑也可以）。
- 看着她，她说我很 hamsap。
她是我最美丽的小公主。
- 真的很喜欢看着她。
她很希望我可以好好的大笑。
- 会看不到我的眼睛。
她很担心我做长途巴士会累。
- 对我来说再累都值得。
她担心晚上on call 我不能睡。
- 还 ok 因为我不用上班。
她还担心爱我不够多，做的不够好
Dear - 你都做得很好，我会很用心爱你。
- 看着她，她说我很 hamsap。
她是我最美丽的小公主。
- 真的很喜欢看着她。
她很希望我可以好好的大笑。
- 会看不到我的眼睛。
她很担心我做长途巴士会累。
- 对我来说再累都值得。
她担心晚上on call 我不能睡。
- 还 ok 因为我不用上班。
她还担心爱我不够多，做的不够好
Dear - 你都做得很好，我会很用心爱你。
Part 8 – Ways to sustain a Position in him
You been telling me and reminded me that I have a very important position inside you. You been reassuring me from day one till now, you love me, you willing to take care of me for the entire time of my life. You also told me that you wanted to put my (or our) picture in your house in stead of family portrait. I feel so exciting, I was thinking next trip I visit you at Kulai again, should I be seeing my (or our) pictures hanging on the wall. Thanks dear for everything you had done and everything you had planned for us.
Today, we are whatsapp-ing among each other for the day. Maybe I am not a good communicator.
I said : “I can’t think of any reason not to love you, I can’t think of any reason to reject your love and I also can’t think of any reason not to have future with you.”
Dear, I accepted you not because of my kindness, or I accepted you because I am single. That’s all bullshit. I did consider seriously before I give you a YES. No doubt you are really treating me so good and it’s really melted my heart to invite you into my life. I do wish we can spend our time together for the entire period, I do wish my family with accept my current relationship and accept you as part of our family too. Consideration not restraint to dating status only, but included our both families and our own family.
Part 7 – Life with You, my Little Man
After my divorcement, you’re the first boy friend that I announced happily to the world. You’re also the only guy that I introduced to my mama as BOY FRIEND. Mama is happy to see me dating happily with my Little Man. Telling her and story her the happy moment we had, sharing with her how good is my Little Man. I wish mama will accept my Little Man too. I wish to have blessing from her too, just same like my Little Man who wished to have blessing from his parents too. Why so hard? I am not an ordinary NORMAL girl like others. I was married, and divorced. I was having bad debts with banks last time, had been chasing for payment from bankers. Money been taken by ex-husband, no money for car instalment, car road tax and car insurance, no money for credit cards, no money for rental and even no money for my daily basic expenses, never had my mind to have spare money to give parents pocket money. I do believe none of the parents will accept his son’s girl friend or wife to have such complicated and horrible background.
I promised myself to do something for you as a appreciation for you to continue our relationship. I had summarized my past and sent a text message to your mama. I know I might shock or surprise her for my past (although you had told your parents about my past). Every parent loves their children, so do them.
Remember, you’d tell me that they did advise you to look for other girl friend because of my past. No doubt I was tearing inside me. But I won’t blame them, as I know every parent wish to protect their children, to avoid their children from getting hurt (again). I am not selfish, if they having difficulties to accept me, I will let go, I won’t drag on to hurt everyone. But I can sense that God i
s treating me very good, God was sending me an angel, I have you to love me and I have both parents to accept us. This is really so beautiful in my life. After all the raining days, God is presenting me with beautiful rainbow.
My current life is just re-juvenile with your love, soaking with your care and concerns, bathing with your pampering. I am just living in a castle and well treated as a princess. You been worried that you can’t fulfill me with material or financial requirements. You keep reminding me that you are not rich, not handsome and short.
Since ever I had recognized you as my boy friend, I have never ever expected you to be a tall handsome rich man. I accepted you for who you are. I won’t expect any change from you too. Your LOVE had melted me. To be frank, I wish to have more love, more caring, more concerns and more pampers from you, dear. It is priceless. How poor you are now or future, I believed it won’t be stopping you from fulfilling me with all the above, right?
Can I get a promise from you?
I promised myself to do something for you as a appreciation for you to continue our relationship. I had summarized my past and sent a text message to your mama. I know I might shock or surprise her for my past (although you had told your parents about my past). Every parent loves their children, so do them.
s treating me very good, God was sending me an angel, I have you to love me and I have both parents to accept us. This is really so beautiful in my life. After all the raining days, God is presenting me with beautiful rainbow.
My current life is just re-juvenile with your love, soaking with your care and concerns, bathing with your pampering. I am just living in a castle and well treated as a princess. You been worried that you can’t fulfill me with material or financial requirements. You keep reminding me that you are not rich, not handsome and short.
Since ever I had recognized you as my boy friend, I have never ever expected you to be a tall handsome rich man. I accepted you for who you are. I won’t expect any change from you too. Your LOVE had melted me. To be frank, I wish to have more love, more caring, more concerns and more pampers from you, dear. It is priceless. How poor you are now or future, I believed it won’t be stopping you from fulfilling me with all the above, right?
Can I get a promise from you?
Part 6 – What is all about PAST?
Everyone has a past. Some happy and some not. Mine is not only ONE. It was more than what you can imagine on me. But I must thank to the ONE who brought me the past. It strengthens and toughens me with tears, sorrow, loneliness and disappointment. It brought me to become a present me. I believed past is not an issue. The problem is for us to recognize the past which is remain existing with us, we can always working together to face it and get off from it.
I am not alone now to face my past, live the present and to dream of my future. I have you dear with me; I believed you will not leave me alone since the day we are attached to each other. We are someone with severe heart broken from the past, we are someone who very reluctant to love again, and we are someone who don’t believed in love for the past few years. Maybe you might see me for having guys surrounding me, but they not the ONE. Maybe I just need someone to slip into my loneliness at times or to fulfil my basic needs.
My past is painful, and it was horribly hurts. It takes me long period to recover. From time to time, wound recovering and healing. Unfortunately scars are bothering me too. No matter how hard I had tried to start new relationship for the past few years, it was not change to anything better. I tends to isolate myself, it barrierred me off from any man that approached me.
Chinese used to say, "Bitten by a snake on one morning, afraid of the rope by the well for ten years". That is true, because this is a kind of phobia. It is tough to overcome this philophobia. But from the day you had fall into me, you had given me strength and power to beat the gravest fear out from me, I can foresee it will make me feel good and positive throughout my entire life. I believed your confidence and effort in us will cure my phobia without any single problem and without any recurrence too. I have faith in you dear.
I am not alone now to face my past, live the present and to dream of my future. I have you dear with me; I believed you will not leave me alone since the day we are attached to each other. We are someone with severe heart broken from the past, we are someone who very reluctant to love again, and we are someone who don’t believed in love for the past few years. Maybe you might see me for having guys surrounding me, but they not the ONE. Maybe I just need someone to slip into my loneliness at times or to fulfil my basic needs.
My past is painful, and it was horribly hurts. It takes me long period to recover. From time to time, wound recovering and healing. Unfortunately scars are bothering me too. No matter how hard I had tried to start new relationship for the past few years, it was not change to anything better. I tends to isolate myself, it barrierred me off from any man that approached me.
Chinese used to say, "Bitten by a snake on one morning, afraid of the rope by the well for ten years". That is true, because this is a kind of phobia. It is tough to overcome this philophobia. But from the day you had fall into me, you had given me strength and power to beat the gravest fear out from me, I can foresee it will make me feel good and positive throughout my entire life. I believed your confidence and effort in us will cure my phobia without any single problem and without any recurrence too. I have faith in you dear.
他说：她不一样了
她很体贴。
总是站在我的立场为我着想。
不敢接受我。
是因为三百多公里的恋爱不容易。
怕伤害我。
接受了我又怕自己做的不好。
她让我很清楚的知道。
我给她的爱是有回报。
她很可爱。
每次生气不开心，她总会让我立刻气消。
我很爱她。
只要她愿意。
我会一直爱她，照顾她。
她是住在我心里的公主。
她 - Winnie Lam
总是站在我的立场为我着想。
不敢接受我。
是因为三百多公里的恋爱不容易。
怕伤害我。
接受了我又怕自己做的不好。
她让我很清楚的知道。
我给她的爱是有回报。
她很可爱。
每次生气不开心，她总会让我立刻气消。
我很爱她。
只要她愿意。
我会一直爱她，照顾她。
她是住在我心里的公主。
她 - Winnie Lam
Part 5 – Long Distant Relationship
As we know in common, it is always challenging and difficult to maintain a long distant relationship, but bearing in mind, this is not IMPOSSIBLE. But surprisingly, I do not have much objections or negative feedbacks from my family or my friends. Best wishing and greeting are floating from the very day ONE we announced our relationship till today. Especially from my mama, I’m glad that she didn’t stop me and she supports me.
This is really a great motivation for me to maintain and workout for this relationship. Although we are just like any other couples, we do share our same interest, share our time together, bringing each other into our lives, and of course loving and caring each other to make our love grows. But it is tough as we are not able to meet each other and spending time together in a physical presence on a frequent note as we wished; but it does not spell out doom for us. Truest takes an essential position for our relationship. And I know, you are doing very well on it. You made me feeling relaxed and secured although we are far apart.
Sept 16, Malaysia Day ~ Public Holiday, a long weekend. This had gave me a chance to visit you at Kulai after you had been visited me in KL for four times (so far). It was a long weekend, taking bus for outstation over the peak holiday always no joke. It was really hell to get myself onto the highway with the heavy and slow traffic for the 300km. But it doesn’t stop me to continue for the journey. Think this is so-called “The power of Love”.
I believed LOVE is not blind. Rabbi Julius Gordon says, Love is not blind – it sees more, not less; but because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Or we shall call it as unconditional love. I willing to story you all my past included my previous failed marriage spontaneously. I wanted you to accept everything of mine but not only current ME. I know you do not mind and never ask about my past. You used to reassure me that you love the current ME, not the previous ME, what had happened is not important and we shall look forward for our better future. You’d proved it, and it was really touched me. This is also another point that encouraged me to give you a YES.
Everyone has his/her past, weakness and mistakes. We learnt from our past; we stood up from our mistakes; we stayed tough from our weakness. It makes us grow. Failure in the past relationships had made us to love and to appreciate our loved one even more. Same applied to our family and friends. No one can survive in his/her isolated world.
I’m no longer bother much on distant anymore where it was a main concern for me at the very beginning. But I know it is not the stone which stop us from moving further. I know we are handling it very well and for sure it will be overcome one day. At least we managed to meet each other twice per month for the weekend.
Someone might think that we are crazy and mad to go all the way for the meet up. And again I believed this is the magic of LOVE. LOVE always comes with craziness, as there is also reason behind the craziness. So dear, we have pretty much solid reason do be crazy or do crazy stuffs.
This is really a great motivation for me to maintain and workout for this relationship. Although we are just like any other couples, we do share our same interest, share our time together, bringing each other into our lives, and of course loving and caring each other to make our love grows. But it is tough as we are not able to meet each other and spending time together in a physical presence on a frequent note as we wished; but it does not spell out doom for us. Truest takes an essential position for our relationship. And I know, you are doing very well on it. You made me feeling relaxed and secured although we are far apart.
Sept 16, Malaysia Day ~ Public Holiday, a long weekend. This had gave me a chance to visit you at Kulai after you had been visited me in KL for four times (so far). It was a long weekend, taking bus for outstation over the peak holiday always no joke. It was really hell to get myself onto the highway with the heavy and slow traffic for the 300km. But it doesn’t stop me to continue for the journey. Think this is so-called “The power of Love”.
I believed LOVE is not blind. Rabbi Julius Gordon says, Love is not blind – it sees more, not less; but because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Or we shall call it as unconditional love. I willing to story you all my past included my previous failed marriage spontaneously. I wanted you to accept everything of mine but not only current ME. I know you do not mind and never ask about my past. You used to reassure me that you love the current ME, not the previous ME, what had happened is not important and we shall look forward for our better future. You’d proved it, and it was really touched me. This is also another point that encouraged me to give you a YES.
Everyone has his/her past, weakness and mistakes. We learnt from our past; we stood up from our mistakes; we stayed tough from our weakness. It makes us grow. Failure in the past relationships had made us to love and to appreciate our loved one even more. Same applied to our family and friends. No one can survive in his/her isolated world.
I’m no longer bother much on distant anymore where it was a main concern for me at the very beginning. But I know it is not the stone which stop us from moving further. I know we are handling it very well and for sure it will be overcome one day. At least we managed to meet each other twice per month for the weekend.
Someone might think that we are crazy and mad to go all the way for the meet up. And again I believed this is the magic of LOVE. LOVE always comes with craziness, as there is also reason behind the craziness. So dear, we have pretty much solid reason do be crazy or do crazy stuffs.
他说：变了
29 July 2012
一切都变了。
心里住了一个人。
时时挂念她。
爱她。
担心她。
她总爱问我一大堆有和没有的问题。
有时又气又好笑。
但我会回答她所有的问题。
不让她有疑问。
她很可爱又善良。
让我很想照顾她。
不让她受伤害。
和她在一起很舒服自然。
我的生活里感觉到不能没有她。
希望她可以一直住在我心里。
她-Winnie Lam (Sayang)
一切都变了。
心里住了一个人。
时时挂念她。
爱她。
担心她。
她总爱问我一大堆有和没有的问题。
有时又气又好笑。
但我会回答她所有的问题。
不让她有疑问。
她很可爱又善良。
让我很想照顾她。
不让她受伤害。
和她在一起很舒服自然。
我的生活里感觉到不能没有她。
希望她可以一直住在我心里。
她-Winnie Lam (Sayang)
Part 4 – All about dates
From Part 1 till Part 3, never seems to have mentioned about our official commitment date. Yes, decided to make our lives easier, 08-08-2012 was our date, and August 8th of every year in future will be our celebration day. Dear, please do remember this date. This is not easy to make this day succeeded. After tons of concerns, worries, consideration and reassurances, I accepted you as my committed life partner who willing to love me, take care of me, concern about me, tolerate me, most important that you’re willing to accept who am I now.
From day one I know you; I am not the type who is trying to hide who I was. I am passed 30s, I am not virgin; I had few relationships, and most serious issue which I was married before. Marriage lasted only for two years, gone through with all the darks and sorrows, passing days with tear and pain. But you’d tried so hard to prove me you are not care about who I was, but you’re concern about who I am and what I will for the future.
That’s made me giving you a YES. Because….. You touched my heart. You melted my coldness. You broke my barrier.
I’m always been reminded that we are far apart for 300km in distant. And yet, with your reassurance and proven that, 300km no longer a main concern to us anymore. Looking at the dates as listed, you had proved it.
28-07-2012, 29-07-2012
19-08-2012, 20-08-2012
24-08-2012, 25-08-2012, 26-08-2012
07-09-2012, 08-09-2012, 09-09-2012
22-09-2012, 23-09-2012
29-09-2012, 30-09-2012, 01-10-2012
05-10-2012, 06-10-2012, 07-10-2012
20-10-2012, 21-10-2012
And I believed, it will be more to come….
I was told that you will be having tight schedule from October till December 2012. From the day I given you a YES, I do understand what our circumstances are. I won’t blame you for not spending time with me. We are matured enough to handle such situation. No worries dear. I will take care of myself here in KL. I do wish I will have the chance to spend my future with your company.
I will gambateh, same to you dear.
From day one I know you; I am not the type who is trying to hide who I was. I am passed 30s, I am not virgin; I had few relationships, and most serious issue which I was married before. Marriage lasted only for two years, gone through with all the darks and sorrows, passing days with tear and pain. But you’d tried so hard to prove me you are not care about who I was, but you’re concern about who I am and what I will for the future.
That’s made me giving you a YES. Because….. You touched my heart. You melted my coldness. You broke my barrier.
I’m always been reminded that we are far apart for 300km in distant. And yet, with your reassurance and proven that, 300km no longer a main concern to us anymore. Looking at the dates as listed, you had proved it.
28-07-2012, 29-07-2012
19-08-2012, 20-08-2012
24-08-2012, 25-08-2012, 26-08-2012
07-09-2012, 08-09-2012, 09-09-2012
22-09-2012, 23-09-2012
29-09-2012, 30-09-2012, 01-10-2012
05-10-2012, 06-10-2012, 07-10-2012
20-10-2012, 21-10-2012
And I believed, it will be more to come….
I was told that you will be having tight schedule from October till December 2012. From the day I given you a YES, I do understand what our circumstances are. I won’t blame you for not spending time with me. We are matured enough to handle such situation. No worries dear. I will take care of myself here in KL. I do wish I will have the chance to spend my future with your company.
I will gambateh, same to you dear.
Part 3 – Life Changed
Throughout my life, I always wish to meet someone who is unlike any other. This person is one I could forever talk to (included answering all my questions). He understands me in a way that no one else does. This person is my soul mate, my best buddy. If there is ONE, I won’t let him go, ever, as I believed he is someone who sent by my angel from heaven. For the past years, I might not find the one I looking for, but I will find who will meet. That is truth. Imagine if I wasn’t join you all during the last January Broga hill hiking trip, I don’t thinkyou will have the chance to read this letter. Agree?
Since ever I had stood up from my previous fall, I’m been learning to appreciate and cherish every moment I had. To me, each moment is reality, each moment is a gift, each moment also an eternal present for me; I must let go all my past, because the past had gone. Future is something I am looking forward and I can sense that it is on its way towards me. I am not the same as DJ said; because I was realized what I deserved and it’s not what I had before.
All these years, LOVE is something untrustable to me. LOVE is lies, LOVE is betrayment, LOVE is disappointment, LOVE is “so what”!!! I don’t LOVE, or should I say, I dare not LOVE anymore. I’m also scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love, it never seems to last. Till two years back, I had read an E-article, it says, . It kicked me away from my deep sleep, finally I realized, you won’t find your true love if you don’t love.
You changed me. You clicked me that there is true LOVE in this world (beside love from family). I released the knot in my heart one by one from day to day. I wish all knots will be released completely very soon. Do you think so?
Since ever I had stood up from my previous fall, I’m been learning to appreciate and cherish every moment I had. To me, each moment is reality, each moment is a gift, each moment also an eternal present for me; I must let go all my past, because the past had gone. Future is something I am looking forward and I can sense that it is on its way towards me. I am not the same as DJ said; because I was realized what I deserved and it’s not what I had before.
All these years, LOVE is something untrustable to me. LOVE is lies, LOVE is betrayment, LOVE is disappointment, LOVE is “so what”!!! I don’t LOVE, or should I say, I dare not LOVE anymore. I’m also scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love, it never seems to last. Till two years back, I had read an E-article, it says, . It kicked me away from my deep sleep, finally I realized, you won’t find your true love if you don’t love.
You changed me. You clicked me that there is true LOVE in this world (beside love from family). I released the knot in my heart one by one from day to day. I wish all knots will be released completely very soon. Do you think so?
他说：我也心动了
过去 ﹣ 曾经我以为我有过的一段爱情可以开花结果。到最后我被骗了。我也必须承认，我给的爱有错。做了第三者让爱冲昏了头。结束了这段爱情。两年来，我过着行尸走肉的生活。只懂的喝酒打发时间。过后还另有了一段恋情。不过那只是玩玩而已。不到半年就分手。因为彼此都不适合。就这样，不知道过了多少年。只有我的相机陪伴我。
2009年。在猫地派认识了你。那时和你什么都谈。我的过去和你的过去，几乎无所不谈。在我心里，你是我一个很要好的朋友。记得初次的见面在你家「茅草山之旅2012 Jan」抱着很紧张的心情。终于可以见这位网友。爬山过程，并没有想像那么好玩。因为少运动的关系。但让彼此更加进一步的联络。如你所说，从早聊到晚。
之后，你还常下新加坡和新山见面。那时就有了好感。肯定了这种感觉就在当时我生了一场病。糊涂的我竟然忘了带电话上班。在上班的我，一直很担心你会很担心我。因为你也知道我病了。联系不到，应该也很担心。一下班就赶着回家，为的是要查电话，关于你的信息。果然有了几个你问候信息和未接通的电话。还让Andy 确定我没事上班。那时我有感动，有个那么关心我的朋友。
你的新加坡之旅，因为电话没电。让我有点担心。平时都习惯报道的你。突然没了消息。我就给了几通信息和打了几通点话给你，也叫了Andy 联络你。直到晚上，你联络了我，就很奇怪的感到松了一口气。才肯睡去。
之后，我们聊的更密。还多次试探你，告诉你我对你有好感。直到28 Jul 2012。我鼓起勇气，决定去KL见你。因为我们多次的见面，都是和一班朋友在一起。没有机会和你单独谈谈。那知什么也没谈。等到我想开口时，你竟睡觉着了 ｢那时其实整夜没睡」。和你逛街，就想牵你的手。看完戏，就想再不牵就没机会了。不管一切，就这样牵了你的手。还记得那时偷偷看了你一下，你那傻傻呆掉的表情很可爱。更开心的是你没拒绝我。
回来，我们用老方式聊。你一直不敢接受我。为我着想，那时我就认定我要的就是你。直到你愿意和我试着走下去。我就决定会尽力去爱你。希望你可以信任我。在你身上我感觉到，我们的感情是双方面的。我们也尽全力去面对很多问题。现在也只不过是 300km 而已。我相信给彼此一点时间这 300km 也不会难倒我们。
想想我们真的努力了很多很多。我想一直和你走下去，可以有我们的小家庭。过着的都是开心的生活。忘了过去，让我照顾和爱着你。好吗？
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