things don't seem to be going smoothly.
As hubby said,
we must always look at the bright side,
but it is just something to cheer me up,
another hand, nothing was changed to be better.
I was jobless since I quit my previous job from PruBSN Takaful in KL.
I was hardly getting a job in Kulai and even JB.
They said I was over qualified.
They said they are just a small company.
They said they don't need a Assistant Manager for their small admin position.
Mom's health condition,
never be good from the time she moves over.
Getting weaker and weaker which lead to her shoulder dislocation.
Getting easier to fall sick.
Getting more frequent to have Gout attack.
Today, I was mentioning that Jacq will be travelling for her annual HK trip next week.
Hubby blaming himself that he was bringing me back luck since he had married me.
I lost my good career in KL,
I lost my good life in KL,
I lost all my friends in KL too.
To be frank, I am really not doing good here.
I hate Kulai, I hate JB, I hate Johor either.
I can't have good job here,
of course I won't have good income too.
Life in Johor is just suck!!!
People here is just unpredictable which can always cause me high blood pressure.
Traffic here is worst than KL, as majority of the drivers here are 'SAKAI"!
With all the bad conditions, I feel so tensioned!
Work, mom, house work, and everything.
I feel so irritated to see the house in a mess,
but hubby not really helping, as he thinks it is just fine to him.
I was so exhausted to keep tidying up his mess in the house.
Life is hard here, I didn't 'enjoy' life here at all.
I know I having certain level of depression and anxiety.
It is rather hard to control my emotion since I moved here.
Lately even worst, whenever I had something not going smoothly,
I easily get angry, and it follows with bad palpitation and tachycardia,
until I have difficulty in breathing.
I have no other choices, hubby likes Kulai, likes this superb 'peaceful' place,
which it is so inconvenient for me in anything.
Staying here just for living, but not life enjoying.
At this stage, I can only keep going as what I am having and facing now.
But doesn't mean that I agree and accept everything.
I know hubby is trying his best to love me and care of me, included mom.
But it doesn't cure me, it is only to comfort me either.
Hubby even asking me to consider for moving back to KL if I want.
I don't think this is a good solution.
I guaranteed, for sure this will lengthen our relationship with a big gap
and bringing back with bad marriage.
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