Part 6 – What is all about PAST?

Everyone has a past. Some happy and some not. Mine is not only ONE. It was more than what you can imagine on me. But I must thank to the ONE who brought me the past. It strengthens and toughens me with tears, sorrow, loneliness and disappointment. It brought me to become a present me. I believed past is not an issue. The problem is for us to recognize the past which is remain existing with us, we can always working together to face it and get off from it. 

I am not alone now to face my past, live the present and to dream of my future. I have you dear with me; I believed you will not leave me alone since the day we are attached to each other. We are someone with severe heart broken from the past, we are someone who very reluctant to love again, and we are someone who don’t believed in love for the past few years. Maybe you might see me for having guys surrounding me, but they not the ONE. Maybe I just need someone to slip into my loneliness at times or to fulfil my basic needs. 

My past is painful, and it was horribly hurts. It takes me long period to recover. From time to time, wound recovering and healing. Unfortunately scars are bothering me too. No matter how hard I had tried to start new relationship for the past few years, it was not change to anything better. I tends to isolate myself, it barrierred me off from any man that approached me. 

Chinese used to say, "Bitten by a snake on one morning, afraid of the rope by the well for ten years". That is true, because this is a kind of phobia. It is tough to overcome this philophobia. But from the day you had fall into me, you had given me strength and power to beat the gravest fear out from me, I can foresee it will make me feel good and positive throughout my entire life. I believed your confidence and effort in us will cure my phobia without any single problem and without any recurrence too. I have faith in you dear.